THE ICC have announced that the 2015 World Cup will be exclusive to the ten Test-playing nations, thereby eliminating the likes of Canada, Kenya, Ireland and Holland.
The decision has been met with outrage from all corners: there have been petitions to contact the ICC’s sponsors, and a swathe of abuse has been directed at the ICC.
However, much of this blind rage has been misplaced, with disingenuous, utterly convenient arguments such as “They’re taking the ‘world’ out of the ‘World Cup,” and “What about Ireland, they beat England, no?”
While there are elements of truth, easy headlines and crass journalism have masked the truth. It is understandably a cause célèbre, but the arguments in favour of the minnows so far have been of a ‘Awww, wish you were here!’ postcard sentiment.
On paper, the decision to streamline the tournament is a sound one – the 2011 World Cup was far too bloated. To exclude the non-Test playing nations is a good move on paper, and here are the stats to back it up:
- During the World Cup, there were 22 matches between minnows and Test nations – Test sides won 21 of those, with their sole loss coming at the hands of Kevin O’Brien’s slaughtering of England.
- When the minnows batted first, matches lasted an average of just 76.3 overs, and Test sides won these matches by an average of 6.9 wickets.
- When batting second, the average margin of defeat for minnows was 130 runs.
- Minnows batted their full quota of overs only 4 out of 22 occasions.
Behind the euphoria of the Irish slaying of England was a slew of utter disappointments. Yes, there were some excellent individual performances from the likes of ten Doeschate and O’Brien, but the stats prove that the minnows simply are not up to scratch.
Don’t believe the stats? Watching games such as Canada vs Kenya was like watching two fat men trying to race uphill. It was hilariously awful, although watching Balaji Rao running between the wickets was a wonderful treat. Both sides were hopelessly out of their depth, and international cricket is not a jamboree where you can just turn up for the fun of it.
In a World Cup, we simply cannot afford to have half of the matches involving minnows – they are simply not competitive enough, and it’s not enough to say ‘give them a chance in 2015′.
Erm, sorry to break it to you, but we *just* gave the minnows a chance…and in case you weren’t watching, they failed badly.
Sure, the Irish and Dutch showed some pluck, in a handful of matches, but they are a world away from winning matches against Test sides – barring Zimbabwe – on a regular basis. The World Cup should be an elite competition for the best sides. Sure, throw in a couple of wildcards, but there is a massive problem when half the games are dead rubbers.
‘God-Given Right’
However, that certainly does not mean that there should be a blanket ‘ban’ on minnows. Removing the carrot of a World Cup – the pinnacle in any player’s career – is a blunder of epic proportions from ICC. The point I am trying to convey is that the teams should be there on merit – there absolutely must be a qualification tournament before a World Cup.
As it stands, Ireland are ranked 10th in the world, according to the ICC, yet Zimbabwe will be playing ahead of them in 2015! Where is the logic in that?
Sadly, as with all things ICC, it is a politically-motivated blunder, a decision made purely in order to sate the vote-hungry powerhouses of the Asian bloc, along with Australia.
All of this does grate terribly with the Associate sides. If you exclude Ireland, Holland, Kenya and Canada, why are Bangladesh and Zimbabwe given automatic places? Why do they have a God-given right to play ahead of the rest? Barring Bangladesh’s win against England, both sides erred on the side of embarrassing during the World Cup, and were thrashed in all other matches against Test sides.
At the same time, we must remember that the ICC is duty-bound to hold a World Cup with 48 matches. The format in 2007 was ideal, as smaller groups meant that upsets had big impacts, but with Pakistan and India bombing out in the Caribbean, the ICC are at pains to pave their most comfortable path through to the knock-out stages.
When not stepping on ants, the ICC enjoy drowning kittens, and long walks on the beach.
The ICC are dickless and unscrupulous, as shown through many debacles over the years. They can probably be summed up by reading their ‘mission statements’, and seeing whether they ring true in real life:
“Openness, honesty and integrity
We work to the highest ethical standards. We do what we say we are going to do, in the way we say we are going to do it.
Fairness and equity
We are fair, just and utterly impartial.
Respect for our diversity
We are an international organisation with a global focus and act at all times without prejudice, fear or favour.
We are bastards
We are unfair, unjust, and totally biased, with a particular focus in pocketing as many ‘10%ers’ as possible before our honorary life positions become worthless.”
OK, so I made one of them up. But they surely dreamed up all of theirs while smoking the finest herb that Chris Gayle has to offer.
‘Corruption’
We are witnessing ICC board members making a mockery out of cricket, and in years to come, there will no doubt be inquests into “why Associates were shafted all those years ago.”
Deals under the table and back-slapping are embarrassingly commonplace. The rejection of former Australian Prime Minister John Howard as nominee for ICC vice-president was a damning indictment of the state of the ICC. As PM, Howard had refused to allow the Australian team to play in Zimbabwe, a decision that did evidently not sit well with the BCCI et al.
It’s beyond a farce. Look at PCB chairman Ijaz Butt, for example. An embarrassing excuse for an administrator, one wonders how a bungling fool can reach the top job in Pakistan cricket. HOW ON EARTH can you lend credence to any organisation where this man is chairman of the second-largest cricketing nation in the world?
Before our very eyes, we are witnessing corruption on the grandest scale. The ICC are pillaging cricket’s resources, with no regard for the future – and after all, why should they care? These guys don’t give two shits about whether cricket is going well in Afghanistan or Canada, so long as their pockets are being lined and they get flown around the world to visit their different masons’ lodges.
I wish I could answer why nothing is being done about it, but I’ve just seen that ICC’s Audit Committee (effectively an ethics committee) has Ijaz Butt as a board member.
In Sachin’s name, have mercy on us.
In all of this, spare a thought for Ireland and Holland in particularly. They weren’t disgraced at the World Cup, but even their best players will likely never play in a World Cup again. Unwittingly and unwillingly, the Tom Coopers, the O’Briens, the Balaji Raos have all become martyrs for the minnow cause. They’re not quite burning at the stake á lá Joan of Arc, but they’ve had their hopes and dreams crushed by shady back room deals.
They are all victims of anachronistic cronyism, at the hands of the selfish and myopic juggernaut that is destroying our beloved game.
And what will the minnows aspire to now, I hear you ask?
To quote directly from ICC President Sharad Pawar, “Well, there’s always the IPL.”
written by the editor
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